A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

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So a man walks into a bar, He says, "Hey bartender! Can I have some beer?" The bartender says, "Sure!" and hands the man a Bud Light. The man drinks the Bud Light and leaves afterward.

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Whys the Elephant afraid of the mouse? i dont know im not an Zoologist

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why did the man fall off his bike? He got shot by the navy seals, He was a highly decorated terrorist.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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What's the difference between Hitler and Stalin? Nothing because pineapples aren't vegetables.

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Why did I kill the Muslim because I'm smart

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What did the black person use to peel a banana? His hands.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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Q: Have you heard from that guy who dropped a piano on his head? A: No one has, he dropped a piano on his head.

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Q: What do you call a girl who wears a tuxedo to prom? A: Comfortable with the way she looks.

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Do you like waffles yeah we like waffles do you like pancakes do you like french toast yeah we like french toast dododododod let me get a mouth full. WAFFLES!!!!!!!

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A little girl had a sleepover with her friends. They watched a movie, then went to bed at a reasonable time. /

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Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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Why didn't Susie's dad come home on time? He was dragged into a dark alley, then stabbed in the eye. When his body was found 2 days later, Susie couldnt stand the loss and hung herself the day after her father was found.

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What do you do when your speeding and a cop is right behind you? make a complete stop and hope for the best

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Mary had a big white van, a big white van, a big white van, Mary had a big white van, where did my friend go? (sing the song)

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why did the husband always work late nights? he needed the extra hours to provide for his family

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What is a five letter word that sounds just like trucks? Vroom

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Who is the funniest guy on this planet? Mike the Situation.

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Ronan Parke, making Justin Bieber look straight since 2009

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What happens when someone with ADD tells a joke? I forgot.

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How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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