Your mom is so fat, that when she stepped on the scale she was disappointed with the number that appeared.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because, orange!

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. A farmers walks by underneath, and the squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because squirrels can't talk and neither can owls. Then the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

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What was the last thing going through the man's mind who cleans the 90th floor windows on the World Trade Center on 9/11? The 91st floor.

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Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

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One day a mans computer was unusually, when all else failed, he had to go to extreme measures. He then refreshed his page.

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How many vampires does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Vampires do not exist

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This is not a joke or is it

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A man finds a mysterious lamp on the side of the road. He picks it up, rubs it, and sells the lamp at a pawn shop for $10,000. The man paid off his credit card debt and was happy that he did not have to file for bankruptcy.

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What did the Nazi say to the farmer? Sie sind Juden versteckt

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What do a spoon and a platypus have in common? Nothing.

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Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

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boobs.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

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What do you call a man who eats another man? An man eater.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Kill it

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47

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How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You tell him to do so.

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Ask me if i am a tree? "Are you a tree" No.

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Q. How did the man with no legs get to places? A. He didn't, he died at his house alone

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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to boys are playing football 1 ses pass tje over ses pass wot

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A convict is ripping out stop signs .. and a police comes out of no where and screams "What are you doing?!" The guys says Ripping up stop signs..

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What's yellow and lays in a tree? Tweety the Whore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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