Justin Bieber got laid

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does Pontiac stand for? Nothing. Pontiac's were discontinued

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you fit 1000 Jews into a car? You can't. You'd need a much larger vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is black and red? Something that is black and red.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you get an Asian man to build you a computer? Pay him a reasonable amount of money

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats worst than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worst than a pile of dead babies? One live baby under the pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

NO! Nero created the MULTIVERSE During the sixth day... And on the seventh... He did not get any sleep or rest either...¨ SO THE GREAT EXPLOSION OF ENDORPHIN'S WAS CREATED AND IT WAS GOOD! Moral:"Seriously, get lost, only the trio of the Gods Me,Myself, and I, are worthy of this tribulation!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

3 men walk into a bar. they all take a cab home to keep from having an accident due to their intoxication.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the computer crash? it didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Bannana man do do do do do ect.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the black man wash up on shore? He was on a boating trip, deep sea fishing, with some close friends from high school. About half of a mile off shore his ship crashed and sunk to the bottom of the ocean. Sadly, not everyone lived this through this tragic accident. This man was one of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple??? You... Lol jk no there could be alot of things like getting raped, the holocaust, me killing your children i mean someone killing your children. Because if it was me you would know it was me and file a report and i would be arrested and be sent to jail. And in jail i would try my hardest to stay alive brcause if i died that would suck. I would also try not to drop the soap beacuse i might get rapped by some prisib mate, also the floors are quite dirty and that would guve me any type of bacteirial infection like the stupid yeats infection or maby the persob who takes it from me when i finnish would get aids cause it dropped on the floor and who knows were it was. Then he would die from aids and his wife and or kids would be sad and set up a funeral were a preist would stand in akward silence cause the guy murderd the preists father so he wouldnt be mean an ruin the funeral but he wouldnt say anything nice. But after the funeral the preist would go back home and smoke a cigarette because he has started an unhealthy habbit just like millions of people around the world. When will people learn that it kills you faster than cancer well some cancers are quite quick and painless like a head tumor. But most tumors are able to be saved because the doctors are smart these days coming from yale or havord universitys and what not. Most peopel want to take the easy way out by just working at kinkos or wallmart. Both jobs are shit wich is why im probably going to go there cause no one else will except me in there offices or departments. I think its the fact i look like a pedofile trying to kill babys but you know how life is short and difficult to control but you have one life why waste it. Stupid emo kids trying to cut emselfs and shoot themselfs so they dont have to deal with theirs or their partners periods because the other day coming back from mc donalds this guy almost hit me with his car and threw a cup at me for some strange reason but hey not my problem unless he was my first victim?...... Lol jk i have never killed anyone and im not that creapy... Awks POTATO!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why the f*** do so many people ask this question?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mother is so fat that people make rude comments about her behind her back, but they shouldn't because she's a really nice lady.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A black man, a Jewish man, and an Indian man are all in the taxi when they were all killed in a car crash. Who was driving the car? The taxi driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's red and screams? A peeled baby in a bag of salt.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Who was sorry when the fat kid fell over last year? The whole of Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what happened to the drug addict? he go high

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the sheep say when he broke a leg? Nothing, sheeps can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between and elephant and a banana? An elephant is grey.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q-What did the hobo get for Christmas? A-Pneumonia.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops