Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retaarded guy? A. Your retarded

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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Why did the blond laugh at work? Because she farted. It was rather uncomfortable for everyone involved.

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

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Yo momma so fat when god said let there be light he said get the fuck out the way!

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What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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Why was Mrs. Clause mad at Santa Clause? Because he was hanging out with three hoes, Ho, Ho, and Ho

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What's worse, a dead baby or an abortion? A dead baby on a bayonet

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im black

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I swear to drunk officer I'm not god.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I forgot to go to the bathroom

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? EVERYWHERE

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You mom is so fat she appeals to my secret fetish.

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whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

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Why did the baby die? Cuz the father had a small dick.

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Why does mexico not have an Olympic team? They do

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What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

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What do you call a beagle and an eagle mixed together? A beagle.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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A man walked into a lampost. He hurt himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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