a man gets raped. -teagan doherty-

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uh uh uh uh .... oh i swallowed my gum

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "You man the guns, i'll drive."

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Your mother called last night. She wants her recipe back.

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What happened to the man who posted yet another repeated joke on anti joke? Nothing. He posted an old joke that everyone has seen a form of already.

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Three logicians were travelling up to Scotland in a train. They saw a black cow standing parallel to the train tracks; the first sign of life since crossing the border. The first logician says "Oh, so they do have black cows in Scotland." The second logician says "No, they have at least one black cow in Scotland." The third logician says "No, they have at least one cow in Scotland, one side of which, at least, is black."

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roses arent always red, they can be pink or white. violets are violet, not blue. your pretty lets have sex.

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A Duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'd like to buy some peanuts." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't sell peanuts." The duck turns around and leaves.

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a homicidal maniac.

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Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

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When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic.

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when life gives you skittles you take a handful and throw it at someone face and yell taste the rainbow

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When I walk in the rain, I get wet

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink.

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While I was walking home from school one day, James Brown jumped out of a bush and punched me in the face. Then, when I got home, there was a walrus sitting on my couch. He then turned to look at me and said, "Penis". I then immediately farted out blades of grass.

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What's worse than Fantasy Basketball? Playing Fantasy WNBA.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? It fell.

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Yo momma is so stupid when she drove to Disney World she saw that said "Disney World Left" so she turned on her turn signal and made a left turn. She promptly arrived at Disney World but realized she had left her wallet at the hotel.

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Why did the woman lie down? She was dead

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how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

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Knock Knock whose there brian Brian who oh because im chinese you assume my second name is Hu? terribly sorry theres been a misunderstanding, i was asking you surname, i should have been more specific! No it my fault, i dont know why i overreacted my second name is Hu its ok, what can i do for you? is it allright to come in for some noodles? are you paying? only a reasonable price ok then, dont see why not

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Tiger Woods isn't a Tiger, He's a lion cheeta.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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