Knock knock Who's there? Illiteracy.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

A man walks into a bar. It was a salad bar, so he left.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What's black and white and red all over it? Not a newspaper because red is not all over it. Answers to this question may vary.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

what is fat, sweaty, and italian? Italians

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Never bring a knife to a sword fight Bring A GIANT FREAKING HIPPOPOTAMUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What's spotty, can be found everywhere and is largely unpopular? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

thumb_up thumb_down +46

It was a dark and stormy night. The whole family waiting for the phone to ring as they await for a criminal to give instructions. Then the phone rings... RING RING Jeffery: "Hello? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No sir please don't! No, have mercy! Yes sir. No sir, no. Yes sir. Bye." Donald: "What did the man say?" Jeffery: "Wrong number..."

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting ran over by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Who is Jonathan Ezell He is Jonathan Ezell

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

thumb_up thumb_down +42

How do you annoy Lady Gaga? Stab her with a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

3 guys walk into a bar. The fourth guy ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What d u tell Simba when he's moving to slow? Muvasa

thumb_up thumb_down +38

who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Knock Knock. -Who's there ? It's me. -Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

why did the black boy read a book. Because he had a book report due next week

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Have you seen the painting by Stevie Wonder? It's a Monet and this museum's most prized piece. Just kindly ask Mr. Wonder to step aside a bit.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A Panda walks into a bar and orders a drink, he then shoots the bartender and leaves. The people are shocked and the panda is arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops