Roses are red Violets are blue i cant ryme or spell.

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Whats the worst part of your school burning down? A: The burnt pizza.

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Sigh... You know life, you start all optimistic and "I am going to be wealthy mommy and stuff" Then you know, life turns not quite out like you planned it, and, well, you wish you had made some other choices you know what I mean... Your grades where not that good, that girl you really loved did not like you back, you know what I mean right? ...Well I don't, how is it like?

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Why did Charlotte fall off the swing? She got hit in the face with an axe.

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse replies "my wife died yesterday." the next day the bartender wakes up and realises that it didn't happen and that he is a drunk asshole with no life.

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-Knock Knock -Come in!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black So is my neighbor

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whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

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Do you like impressions? Why? That's Socrates

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theres a giant burning orb in the sky and it can burn your flesh, it can give you diseases, it can kill you, looking directly at it causes physical pain, and we all think this is okay. we like this orb. we like to go outside and lie around on our backs when this orb is in the sky. children draw cute pictures of this levitating death orb with a smiley face on it. what is wrong with us

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A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

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One day a child goes to the doctor and says, "it hurts when do this" as he pokes his throat. The doctor, after several well-performed deep tissue testing, diagnosed the child with stage four esophageal cancer. The child cried himself to sleep that night.

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So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

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Why did Michael Vick run? Because he was being chased by defenders.

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Three logicians were travelling up to Scotland in a train. They saw a black cow standing parallel to the train tracks; the first sign of life since crossing the border. The first logician says "Oh, so they do have black cows in Scotland." The second logician says "No, they have at least one black cow in Scotland." The third logician says "No, they have at least one cow in Scotland, one side of which, at least, is black."

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Why can't jesus hold skittles? They'd fall through his hands.

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What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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a man gets raped. -teagan doherty-

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Your mom is so fat...

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How do you kill two birds with one stone. You don't its not humanly possible because birds cannot be killed with rocks.

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whats red with blue spots and is highly inteligent? an apple. i lied to you and am sorry

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justin beiber has a penis hahahahahahhaah lol not really

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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