What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter it's not going to come to you anyway.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was peckish.

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Kevin Spacey is Kaiser Solze

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the little boy cry regularly? Because his father was sexually abusive.

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A man walked into a bar with his friend. He drinks a certain amount of beers, and has his friend safely drive him home.

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A black man orders a pizza to be delivered to his house. He is delightfully pleased at the speed in which the pizza was delivered and decided he would order from that pizza shop again in the near future.

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Q: Whats the difference between a watermelon and a infants head? A: One is fun to beat a with a hammer, and the other is the infants head.

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Your Mommy is a gas pump.

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Yo mama so fat, that she feels uncomfortable in a bathing suit.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It got shot. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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kknocckkck knockckkckccck hue's theeeair? TTThhe pOOOliCCee. fffor whaaa? yyouu rr arreesstedd forrr drrunkkkc dddrivvinnng! Puuut urerre frreaakkki'n hannnddss uppp!

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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Jake was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. His wife looks down and sees a scale.

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What's worse than getting stabbed Getting stabbed two times

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Yo mamma so fat, she is going on a diet and is very sensitive about her weight.

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How do you scare a bonde? tell her you want to be her uterus?

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Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Come in.

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The person below me is weird.

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The time and place do not matter because I'm a lesbian.

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A whale's vagina

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if life give you lemons. put them in the fridge they should be there...

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Knock knock Who's there The police "people began to jump out the back window"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops