Where did Susie go during the bombing? EVERYWHERE

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How did the blonde burn her ear? In a terrible accident involving molten lava.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

im black

thumb_up thumb_down +24

When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool The tragic drowning of a quadrapalegic

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is embarrassed but realises it has nothing to do with his dyslexia.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man walked into a lampost. He hurt himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was Adam sad? His wife found him cheating with several women which led to a lengthy and messy divorce and him losing custody of his two children and his house.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a beagle and an eagle mixed together? A beagle.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What time is it? 20:45.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its dopaminergic neurons fired synchronously across the synapses of its caudate nucleus, triggering motor contractions propelling the organism forward, while emitting 'cluck' distress signals, to a goal predetermined by its hippocampal road mappings.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was a registered 6 offender

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the man commit suicide? Because on top of his depression, his wife had been cheating on him and his kids all died in a horrible hand-gliding mishap.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats the difference between a Duck? One of its legs are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is worse than The Holocaust? That's a difficult question to answer. The term "worse" is highly subjective. It really all depends on your own personal experiences, your ethnicity, and cultural background.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven stabbed his mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why are black people so tall? Because their parents were

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops