How did the blonde burn her ear? In a terrible accident involving molten lava.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? EVERYWHERE

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im black

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is embarrassed but realises it has nothing to do with his dyslexia.

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A man walked into a lampost. He hurt himself.

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Why was Adam sad? His wife found him cheating with several women which led to a lengthy and messy divorce and him losing custody of his two children and his house.

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' Cheese

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What do you call a beagle and an eagle mixed together? A beagle.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo Boo who? It's just a joke you don't have to cry about it

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What did the business man say to the homeless person? Get a job

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How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

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The more I learn to understand myself, the more true I am towards my values the less human I feel. The irony is, that there will always be other humans feelng the same.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its dopaminergic neurons fired synchronously across the synapses of its caudate nucleus, triggering motor contractions propelling the organism forward, while emitting 'cluck' distress signals, to a goal predetermined by its hippocampal road mappings.

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Why are black people so tall? Because their parents were

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What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was a registered 6 offender

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Whats the difference between a Duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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