a little boy takes his lacrosse stick to his mom and says "hey mom this is bob" the mom says "hi bob" and she says to her son "does bob say hi back?" and the boy says "no mom. hes a lacrosse stick."

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Why did your mom cross the street? She didn't. She was a home. Making me a sandwhich.

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my eyes hurt from what? being open too much

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How did my grand parents go about surviving the holocaust? Well, for starters, they weren't Jewish, they never lived in Germany, and to be honest, my grandparents probably would have supported the Nazi's because they are right wing pricks

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What would Michael Jackson do if he were in a room full of kids? Nothing, he's dead.

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Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

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Roses are red Violets are red Oh sh*t the gardens on fire

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What is a dead cat on the side of the road. A free cat.

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Did you hear about the kid-napping in Minnesota? He woke up

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What is an old ginger lady's favorite type of bread? Whole wheat.

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Roses are red Here's something new Violets are violet NOT F**KING BLUE

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Nothing, fish can't talk and it died on impact.

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Women.

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. Are you a grapefruit? No.

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Why are spanish people good at soccer? Hard work and a long-life time comitment

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What do you do when your speeding and a cop is right behind you? make a complete stop and hope for the best

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John has 7 apples and Lisa has 4 apples John eats 3 apples and Lisa eats 1 apple and give another to John Their diets lacks various essential nutrients

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Whys the Elephant afraid of the mouse? i dont know im not an Zoologist

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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You read the Terms of Service.

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Why did the quick brown fox jump in the lake? He did not see lake on the other side of the lazy dog.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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What is the difference between a rat and an italian? nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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