Q-What do you call a woman in the kitchen? A- A woman making me a damn sammich thats what.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what do you do when you see a black guy with half a face. call an ambulance because hes most likely in serious pain

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why is the sky blue? As the light from our Sun shines into the atmosphere, most of the colors are able to reach the Earth’s surface uninterrupted. However, because blue light has a wavelength that is the same size as the particulates in the air, this light is scattered in every direction. This blue light bounces from particulate to particulate until it eventually reaches your eyes. For this reason, no matter what direction you look in the sky, it appears to be blue. This blue light originated with the Sun, was bounced around in the sky many times, and then eventually reached your eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What would George washington do if he was still alive He isn't so we dont have to worry about that.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A man walks into a bar. Wait, no, it was a horse. A man walks into a horse

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the Gazelle run away. Because a lion was nearby and as we all know, nature called for the lion to be a carnivore, so the gazelle is in danger of being consumed by the lion.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How do you get a boy out of bed, you cut off his fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What was the leg less and armless mans favorite type of music? Nubstep

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What has two arms and two legs? A human being.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Your mother's so fat that when she goes through rotating doors, the doors rotate around her.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did blink-182 get a record deal? Because they play quality punk rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Whats green, and says i'm a frog? A talking frog.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the black person got to Wal-mart? Wal-mart has relatively low prices

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A new family have moved in next to me. They have three little kids and they've challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I'm just writing this while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the black man laugh at my joke? k.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why didn't the girl make the basketball team? She has no arms or legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Hello! Echo! My name is Ed!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Yo Mama So Fat ... She Look Like Dis ///(*<>*)\\\ | | | | <=> <=>

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

-Knock, knock. -Who's there? -The pest control guy. -Please leave me alone I'm giving birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Want to hear a dirty joke? Mud.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

what did the alcholic get his children for christman, nothing i lied about the children. Another joke by rangler thumbs up for more.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops