A: Ask me if I'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

My grandpa asked me a very important question right before he kicked the bucket. Grandpa: Son, how far do you think I could kick this bucket?

Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

whats the difference between a black man and a terd ? one is a black man the other is a terd

10 people walk into a bar. 6 hours later, 3 more people walk into the bar. There are now 12 people in the bar, and one corpse in the dumpster out back.

A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it's in a chicken coop.

Ever heard of the dumb blonde joke? You probably wouldn't get it.

knock knock father: who's there? young man: it's I, your son. father: ....... what? young man: dad let me in, I'm sorry! father: i don't have a son.... young man: but.... i love you... father: get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

What do you call red eyes in the dark? A high black man

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

Why do all the Republicans hate Obama? He's a Democrat.

Roses are red violets are blue this is an anti joke so like this

A boy walks up to a girl and says "Do you like ice cream? Cuz I have a huuuuuge penis."

A blonde walks into a bar. She is rushed to the hospital and treated for a broken nose and a busted lip. She now has a deformed nose.

knock knock no ones home

What's the difference between a taxidermist and an astronomer ? They have a different job.

a mexican guy and a black guy are in a car, who is driving? the mexican, the black guy is in the passenger seat

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken would greatly appreciate it if you stayed out of its personal life.

Why is Michael J. Fox so good at shake-a-weight? He is in shape.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

The queen is killed on sunday there are three suspects the cheif the princess and the butler The princess' said she was getting lunch The cheif said he was making lunch The butler said je was getting the mail So who did it A: the butler they dont diliever mail on sunday

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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