Roses are red. Violets are red. I have a gun. What did i do?

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What's black and white and red all over? A car in which some young hoodlum appears to have splashed a fair amount of red paint over the owner's otherwise charming checker pattern.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

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Why didn't the business man ever wear pants? He didn't have any legs.

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What did the black person say to the tall man with nice shoes? Nice shoes.

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roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS now so do you.

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can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was a cold day

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"I like my women like I like my coffee, in a cup." -Paul Alangadan

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Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?? Theres one less drunk.

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Why do gay people go to the beach on memorial? idk im not gay

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Whats Black White and Red all over? oh, wait. what time were we supposed to meet that landlord?

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You heard about that piece of shit that says no all the time? Yes, I bet you haven't though. no.

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If you see a fat man, what do you say to him? Hopefully nothing mean, seeing as that would be demoralizing to the fat man.

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Psychics.

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What happens when a black man spills all of his grape soda? He cleans it up and recycles the empty can

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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A minor, her mom, her aunt and a marine went out drinking...they had a fun night

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What weights more than a 300 pound man? A 400 pound man.

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Q:What would strawberry short cake never say? A: Very

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John and Henk are walking down the street. John kills a man, the cops are coming and John runs away. Why didn't Henk ran away? Henk was a rock

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What is green and looks like Grass? A painting of grass

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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What happpens when a Jew walks into a wall with a boner? He breaks his nose

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops