How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Donald Trump.

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Why don't I understand myself? Because I am an anti-joke and lack a self-aware existence.

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A farmer had a horse that he rode frequently. He would talk to the horse and tell it it was his closest companion. One day the farmer noticed that the horse was walking funny. So he shot it.

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Hey I just met? you and this is crazy I have alzheimers Hey I just met you

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When life gives you lemons... Be thankful you're not starving, a**hole.

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What did the woman get for Christmas? Cooking oil and a black eye.

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Hey, I just met you... No, I'm your brother. You've known me for 30 years. You must have memory loss.

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I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

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Dear God, That wasn't cool. Seriously. From, Japan

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Where do black guys sit in the bus? Enywhere theres a free seat

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How did the man drown the fish? He ate it.

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What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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gabbi nunez ;)

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Your mother is so fat when she jumps she comes backs down.

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Knock knock? Who's there? A Jehovah's Witness. Oh. Knock knock? Who's there? Not me!

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Two men are walking in a forest And they find this deep whole, so they spit in it to see how deep it but they here nothing So they throw a rock in and still hear nothing Them they find this old tramission and throw that in. A couple second later the goat comes running by and jumps in the whole A couple minutes pass and an old farmer walks up and asks if they had seen his goat and they replied" yea it just ran and jumped into that whole. The farmer says "that's weird considering I had him tied up to an old tramission

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Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms..

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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A zebra was on his way to a water hole. On the way he met 6 giraffes. Each giraffes had 3 monkeys around their neck. Each monkey had 2 birds on their head. How many animals went to the water hole? A:One, the zebra.

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Their is a stripper, a prostitute, and a pole dancer on a plane that is about to crash. They all die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the slaughter-house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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