How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: a pizza is a food that was created in italy and is regularly eaten daily around the world and a jew is a religion that is constantly criticized and made fun of because they are different.

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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What's the difference between you and yourself? Yourself has 4 more letter in it.

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This is a haiku A lovely type of poem It's snowing on Mt. Fuji

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What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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how do you make a door cry? twist its nob

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What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

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Where did a homeless man find his easter eggs? In the bin.

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so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

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how do you stop a speeding vehicle? throw a refrigerator at it.

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Why are there so many black basketball players? Because they aren't green.

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what does the NAACP stand for? Now Apes Are Called People.

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Do you know what my favorite rhetorical question is?

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21

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well he usually takes the bus to his job but he missed it so he had to walk. Unrelated to this, he works at KFC

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Why did the Chinese man have a cat in his oven? Because his wife had decided to divorce him that day so he threw he in the oven, and the cat happened to be in her arms at the time.

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Q: What do you call a Muslim controlling a plane? A: A pilot.

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Q: What do you call Justin Bieber with a penis? A: Darn good plastic surgery.

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Q: What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A: An horse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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