if a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound? if a tree falls in the forest and it falls on a mime, does anyone care?

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Why did Chad find dead people all over the playground? Ask him, it's not like he's pointing a gun at your face.

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Donkey lips

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The mailman saw little Johnny sitting on the side of the street with an old coffee can Mailman: What do you have in that can there? Johnny: dog shit Mailman: what the fuck

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A black man in a country bar.

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A clown a hockey player and a...........what the heck that's all I got.

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Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

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Why didn't Angie die when she jumped off the Empire State Building? She landed on a pancake

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whats red and and has 202 legs? an ostrich, ok i lied about 200 legs and the red part

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What did rosa parks get for christmas? -Racism

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What was the old man doing in the parking lot. Looking for a place to park his car

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A blind was staring at a girls ass. Her boyfriend promptly bludgeoned the man unaware of his illness.

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My parents died!

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Ask me if I'm a toaster Are you a toaster? No, I'm a tree.

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Why was Jimmy upset? There is a frog taped to his face.

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What do you call an 8 year-old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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There were 2 drunk men. Man 1:im planning to buy the world. man 2:you cant. man 1:why. man 2: cause im not gonna sell it.

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Two Jews walk into a bank. They make a deposit and leave.

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You are Nerochan right?

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Why did the zuccini fly? I was in an acid trip.

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? Because he is dead

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Q Why was the boy sad A he wasnt sad he was dead and therefore had no emotional feelings

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Why can't you give a diabetic a cookie? Due to the lack of Insulin produced in the Pancreas, the sudden spike of sugar into the blood stream may send the person into a diabetic coma, which good possibly result in the amputation of a limb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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