Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set? Because she didn't.

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was tied to the first Monkey. Why did the third Monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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What is the defference between an apple and a banana? Horses, because vests have no sleeves.

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*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

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What's black and white and red all over? Two biracial gay guys boning a can of paint...

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you and your family will die tonight

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A Jewish man walks into a grocery store. He purchases the items he needs and leaves.

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If you're riding on a jet ski and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a car? Blue. Because Ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because Martin Handford drew him that way to make him unique and distinguishablefrom the hundreds of other drawn people (and animals) in the pages of the children's game book, which incidentally is known as Where's Wally in numerous non-USA countries.

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What do you call a black person with dandruff.... A lamington

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What is a black man's favorite fast food restauraunt? Varies.

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What happens when a scientist tells you a lie? It's not true.

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if a chcken lays an eggg what happens? a baby bird comes out

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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What's black and white and roams the sea floor? A zebra.

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What is dark, funny looking, black, and rhymes with osama? A black lama.

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A guy walks into a bar, A metal one, OUCH!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like to slap hookers

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Whatsup?! Your grandpas chance of dying.

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Q: Why was George Washington buried on a hill? A: Because he's dead.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter it's not going to come to you anyway.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Leaves are green, You should know all this by now...

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So you go home and get on the computer. You have no internet so your stuck playing pinball.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue I suck at poetry, Show me your tits

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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