Why did the cat cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

A man walks into a bar. The man says,"ouch, how could I have not seen the bar."

Why did Ramsey fall off the seesaw? Because while he was playing with friends on a seesaw at a nearby Country Club, a very angry and insane man who had many handicaps, decided to solve his problems by killing someone. A funeral was held a week later.

knock knock. come in.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' Thats fantastic for Peter Piper

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

'Dyslexic man walks into a bar... and orders a pint

What happened to the cat that fell in the bath? It jumped out feeling cold and embarrassed.

Why are black people ghetto? Because they are black.

Wanna know something funny? Your face

What do you call a blue baby at the bottom of a pool? Dead.

What's big,long,and mostly men use it? A submarine

How do you wake up your friend in a reasonable manor? you beat the shit out of him

Two penguins are sitting on an ice flow. One says to the other: "hey--you know, it looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other one says, "who says I'm not?"

elen degeneres is straight....

"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the gorcery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons."

Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

What do you call a mexican driving a plane? Well.. nothing because you can't drive plane's but if a Mexican man was able to FLY a plane, he would be a pilot.

what did the black man eat for dinner? whatever his wife makes for him to eat

Whats the difference between a black guy and a white guy They both have different skin color

Why did the duck eat the chicken noodle soup? The duck was told that if he ate the chicken noodle soup on Fear Factor he would win $10,000. What he failed to realize was that he forgot to sign page 16 on the episode contract and did not win any money and was sued by Campbell's soup for copyright infringement.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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