Why can't the cheetah run fast anymore? Because it died in a forest fire.

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Hitler, Goebbels and Göring walked into a bar. They ordered 3 steins and took their seats in quiet corner of the establishment. After short deliberation they were ready to start work on building a highway that would be the envy of the world.

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Q: What do you call three black people in a car? A: Maltesers

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What did one cancer patient say to the other? Nothing, both of them were dead.

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you: your adopted me: i was so thanks for saying you ass

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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What do a fish and a moose have in common? They both live under water, apart from the moose.

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What did little Sally say to the clown after the party? 'For someone who specializes in entertaining children of a young age, I am slightly underwhelmed at the degree of humor my friends and I have derived from your jokes today.'

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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What's cold, limp, approximately 65 pounds, and being dragged out of that pool with no safety fence over there? Not important, lets go get some Wendy's man.

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What did the pc say to the Mac? You suck

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Did you hear about the guys who wanted to go to Hawaii??? They didn't go!

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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What has wings and windows? A bluebird, I was nodding about the windows!

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Theres this guy that got pulled over and the guy in the car said: I have AIDS the cop said: Oh, really when did you get them? I don't have AIDS

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"Do you wanna hear a funny joke?" Yeah, Sure! "A funny joke."

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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A guy walks into a bar Many people gather around him to see if he is alright and to tell him he needs to watch where he is going.

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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What is small and gives people courage? Certain kinds of illegal drugs

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If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

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Guess what I did to the clown I hit it with an axe

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knock knock hold on im takin a poop!

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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