What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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knock knock who's there me i kill you

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a customer walks into a store and says, "the customer is always wrong." the employee replies, "no, the customer is always right." "you just contradicted yourself."

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A middle-class family went away on vacation. While they were gone, a pyromaniac burnt down their house. Their cat was still inside.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs go for christmas? Cancer

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What did the indian man say to the black man? "Hi."

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"Hey guys lets have a standing obviation." No one else stands....

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Two bananas are walking down the street. One says, "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" The other banana says, "Wait a minute, fruit can't talk." The second banana turns into a dove and promptly flies away.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: both your legs are broken in 10 places, you will never walk again.

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what happened to the boy who crossed the street. he got shot by a bus

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Why did the man jump off a cliff? Because he was committing suicide.

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What did the woman say to her rapist? I've had better.

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? Because he crossed the road

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Who thinks amy mc quire is really stuiped

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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How do you stop your child from picking his nose? Cut his hands off

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Herpes, Now you do too.

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting ran over by a truck.

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Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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