why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? Oh my god, I thought you said you'd never forget.

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Don't worry, I'm not as random as you think I salad

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What do you call it when the sh*t hits the fan? The sh*t hits the fan.

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One man's trash is another dyslexic man's shart.

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Q: Why did the little girl scream? A: She didn't have a rape whistle.

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How did the fat man avoid getting dehydrated? Fat men don't excersise and therefore cannot become dehydrated.

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. And now he's dead. No more shoe ingestion

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how do u know when your in west virginia? when the houses have more wheels than the cars

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If I threw a regular snowball at a random snowman, would my action directly result in the increase of the snowman's size or would it rather have caused to snowball to become substantially larger in succession? Only a few people could answer that question. Not all of us are actually philosophy aficionados after all.

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what happened to the baseball player who couldnt throw? he was very unsuccessful, as throwing is the most important skill of the game

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penus

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What did the black man say about Linkin Park? That there's obviously a rapist in their midst and they should all be questioned.

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I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

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Why did the man destroy his piano? He may have been frustrated with himself for making mistakes during practice.

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fruit salad?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because potatos are invading russia

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

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Why was the man waiting at the bus stop? He was on his way to work

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What can you conclude about a black man in a mercedes? He has crack and car insurance.

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How do you blind fold an asian? Dental floss!

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Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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