Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had been used as an ingredient in kung pow chicken and was on it's way via delivery boy to the house that had ordered it for a lovely evening meal

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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ok everybody to make this more simple we all have to line up alphabetically by height.

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*Knock Knock *Whos there? *ADD *ADD Who? *I forgot but you wana build a fort.

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What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

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knock knock piss off

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Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

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TWIX PAUSE!

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I'm wet Ew you perv.. Stop thinking like that ! I just took a shower.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? yea, neither has he.

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What did Anne Frank do this weekend? Nothing. she died in the holocaust.

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What's worse than molding bread? Babies in the toaster.

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What's red and smells like paint? Red paint.

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What is Debbie short for? She has no legs.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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What you reading? reading?

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but GET IN THE VAN

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why was the man gay? Because its not a choice. its a lifestyle.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Why, you might ask, did in fact the chicken cross this all too infamous road? His grandma-ma phoned the righteous bird and requested a visit. Chickens never displease their family.

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What is the best kind of necro? Dead necro.

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School

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple? I don't cum on an apple before I eat it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops