What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Knock Knock Go Away

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Rudolf the rednosed reindeer died today. He was reported flying over Madrid when he was hit by a jumbo jet and a flock of seagulls. People are now saying that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

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" ding dong " person in side: wait aren't u supposed to knock knock

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you accent is really not hiding it

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On monday morning the doctor walked into a patient's room, then he walked out after a quick check up.

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What do a tree and a boy have in common? They both cry when you hit them with an axe... except the tree.

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If you have a large penis.give this joke a thumbs up. ( :

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How do you say "Hello" in India? 1. Get a plane ticket and fly to India 2. Say Hello in India

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knock knock. come in.

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Q. whats piggy called A. Patrick gearthey

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yo mamma's so fat, she decided to go on a diet

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What did Batman say to Robin before going into the Batmobile? Get in the car.

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How do you kill the circus? You chop it's head off.

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Why cant helen keller drive Because shes a woman

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Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

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Why did the zuccini fly? I was in an acid trip.

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Hey guys! Today is September 10th you know what tomorrow means? Party at my house! ...What? It's my birthday.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller have a baby? A: Because she is dead. ...I IS HORNY!

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What did the martian say to the other martian when he saw a fire hydrant? "Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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