Why cant helen keller drive Because shes a woman

Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

Why did the zuccini fly? I was in an acid trip.

Hey guys! Today is September 10th you know what tomorrow means? Party at my house! ...What? It's my birthday.

Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

Q: Why can't Helen Keller have a baby? A: Because she is dead. ...I IS HORNY!

Knock knock. Whose there? Not my house so not my problem. Frankly, I don't give a shit.

What did the martian say to the other martian when he saw a fire hydrant? "Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!"

what is meaningless and not fun at all? that joke

why did the frog cross the road? because he was attached to the duck

rose's are red, bananas are yellow, yo mama's so fat she jiggles like jello

why did the chicken cross the road? because the chicken had enough of life and wanted to commit suicide due to recent tragic events such as his cheating wife, his druggie son, his prostitute daughter, losing his home, and getting fired

Why can't Hellen Keller read, write, or do anything really? Because, shes a woman.

Why did the man go to jail? He abused and later murdered his spouse.

Okay, so your school has a fire drill, and a ginger asks why the alarm went off. You reply, “Some new kid saw your hair and pulled the fire alarm

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, he got hit by a bus.

What did the boy with no eyes get for Christmas? Glasses

how many dead babies fit in a bathtub 16

why did the black man die? the man bled out, and doctors did everything they could.

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

how big is the moon? why the hell are you asking me?...dumbass.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because people have encroached on it's natural habitat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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