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you: "hey, is your refrigerater running?" random, confusded individual: "yeah" you: "oh."

kknocckkck knockckkckccck hue's theeeair? TTThhe pOOOliCCee. fffor whaaa? yyouu rr arreesstedd forrr drrunkkkc dddrivvinnng! Puuut urerre frreaakkki'n hannnddss uppp!

Why are Asians good at math? Because coincidentally many are interested in it and study a lot.

If a little boy teleported to mars how fast would he get there? Little boys are incapable of breaking down their molecular structure in order to send their individual particles faster than the speed of light in any given direction. Thus this question is illogical and can not be answered.

whats helen kellers favorite activity fingering herself

Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, because horses cannot talk.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a dick just for you

Knock Knock Come in. Thanks.

How do you know that you tv has been stolen? It's no longer there.

Why did the little boy have to go to the hospital? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a train.

What do you call a pencil that's been broken in half? 2 pencils

A man walks into a bar. Wait, no, it was a horse. A man walks into a horse

A man walks into the bar with his parrot, but sadly the parrot was attacked ferociously by a flock of seagulls and it died.

Q: You know what you should add to your recipe? A: No, not really. Tell me. Q: What? Are you expecting an answer now? Why don't you just shoot me, huh?! Pee on my clothes and set them on fire! You racist son of an **orange**.... It certainly tastes better with oranges.

Why did the fat man fall off the balcony? He didn't, I pushed him.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna. Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son

How do you count all the jews in a village? The United States Census Bureau usually has reliable data so I would start there

How do you make a mimer to speak? Shot him in both knees and cut of he's ear

Little Johnny asks his teacher "What's 23 times 3?" She yelled, "Be quiet, Johnny, and grow up!"

Why does Santa wear sleigh bells? Because he's got leprosy.

Yo mamma so fat, she is going on a diet and is very sensitive about her weight.

If a quiz is also referred to as a quizzicle, then what is a test also referred to as? A test, really. There are no synonyms for 'test' which would result in a humorous punchline; 'exam,' 'essay' and 'evaluation' are the closest possible answers and none of them provide humor at all.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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