Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

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You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

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A baby seal walked into a club.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

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What's black and hangs from trees? tires ...and black people

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Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

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Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

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Hi

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

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obamas trench

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A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

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What do old people really like? Anal sex.

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roses are white, violets are black, You should probably consult with an eye doctor, for you probably have severe color blindness.

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?"what's up" "A preposition"

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An irish man calls a black man a nigger. The offended black man then proceeds to ravenously beat the Irish man's head into a nearby curb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops