Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

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How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

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You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first one to walk on the moon... and Michael Jackson molested little children.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What's worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke? Your family being massacred in front of your eyes.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

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Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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Moves Like AJgger- Marron 5

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There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

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whats long black, eight inches and sometimes has white on the tips of them? a black mans foot the wears an eight inch shoe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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