Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

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A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

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Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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A violent biker gang walks into a bar to have a few drinks, the bar tender says "I'm sorry we can not serve you here." They then proceed to beat the man violently.

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Roberto: Did you watch that WNBA game tonight?!? Will: No Roberto: Me either

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

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"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

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A black man walked into a bar. Had a drink, and left.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

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Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

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a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

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Rosa Parks is going to be here if she gets to the bus on time!

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Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck a penis

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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