Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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ROB SNIEDER ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS A CAARRRRROT! rated pg-13

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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1,984

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

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Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

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Whats even funnier than watching two black guys with guns attempting to shoot people Just about everything

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This is a racist joke but who cares!? What is the difference between a black guy and a bag of shit? The bag I apologize to all my fellow black friends. -Lets go MEts

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

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When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

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Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

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Why did the moron jump through the window?

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How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

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A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

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What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? Pretty much anything is funnier than that. What's wrong with you?

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

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"I have been threw the desert with a horse with no no name" wrong the horse, name was no name

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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