How do you call a black man? By his first name.

Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

ROB SNIEDER ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS A CAARRRRROT! rated pg-13

Chuck Norris is so strong, he can lift really heavy things without hardly even trying.

Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? Pretty much anything is funnier than that. What's wrong with you?

The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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