What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

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A very unattractive girl bent over in front of me. I proceeded to be sick, and then I choked on my sick. I died. My family mourn my death every day.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He had no limbs

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Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

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If life gives you lemons your hallucinating

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How many dead babies does it take to paint the side of a building? I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.

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a black man and his girlfriend are in a car, who is driving? the cop

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what did the bug say when it got ran over by a car? NOTHING, bugs can't talk

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heyy emit chase wazzup

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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The eighties called They were pretty exited about inventing a telephone that can call the future

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I'm trying to see from Adam Fantuzzi's point of view but i cant stick my head that far up my arse Daniel

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What does an unemployed black man and a mexican have in common? They both like to shop at forman mills because they have reasonably priced clothing items.

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Religion.

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An Asian fails their maths exam.

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how many aliens does it take to change a light bulb? i wouldn't know, i have never seen one and there is the off chance that they don't even exist

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What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

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Why is a budgie Because the other leg is yellow

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What did the suicide bomber say on new years day? Happy new year.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say before was captured? nothing the U.S. military slit his throat on site

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What do you call a person who dies in march A dead person

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TIMMAH!

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was simply tired of being mocked and judged by society.

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Why was the blonde sent to prison? Well there could be a number of reasons, but I for one do not know this specific blonde so I can not help you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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