An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

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What happens when a jewish man, black man, asian and an amish man get on the same plane heading to Chicago? The reach their destinations safely and go their separate ways.

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Roses are red, foxes are clever, I like your butt, let me touch it forever!

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A man walks into a bar, has a drink, pays the bartender, and leaves.

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This one time at band camp music was played.

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was hungry. Thats why.

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why did the car drive off the cliff? The driver was a potato...

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why did hellen keller kiss a girl? another blind date

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roses are red violets are blue my poems mite be ugly and so are u

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What lumpy and pointy? A horny woman with breast cancer

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hahahahaha thats not funny

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Man 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Man2: Are you a tree? Man1: no.

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the old man fell down the stairs and broke his leg, he then went to the hospital and got a cast. later that day he went home and ate soup

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Why do everytime I go to toilet for number 2. I look into the toilet to see if this one's nicer than the last one.

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Your grandma's cookies.

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Your mumma is so stupid her IQ is 40.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

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What do you call an Irish man with no legs? Handicapped

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why was it funny that the boy got a razor for christmas because he had leukemia

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Why did the little girl die Because she was kidnapped by a rapist, and defiled repeatedly, and then to get a ransom from her family the kidnapper slowly pulled out her fingernails and toenails, and sent them to the family the same thing happened with her fingers, toes, hands, feet, arms, legs, teeth, tounge, hair, and eyes, then she died of blood loss after nearly 2 months of torture.

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How come the man couldnt read the directions? He was reading it upside down.

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Why did the kitchen cross the road?

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What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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