What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash and the other one is a watermelon.

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in the front of his pants. He is given some very strange looks from the patrons both due to the fact that he has a steering wheel in his pants and because people wearing traditional pirate garb are a rarity.

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Why was the old man on the floor? He fell

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a fat man walks into a bar and gets laughed at because his shoes are untied

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im a dragon, no im not

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Why did the little kid color outside the lines? He had Parkinson's Disease.

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What did Little Jojo get for Hanukah? Nothing he is Muslim.

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I dont hate you Lets just say if you were on fire and i had water id drink it

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A black man walks into a store and buys something.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

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Mark Wilson

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

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Whats 10-5(45+76)? please help my homework is due next class and i am currently to busy worrying about my dad's cancer to think about this problem.

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Whats better than 24? 25.

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What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

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A man with a ski mask leaves a jewelry store He then goes back because he accidentally took the clerk's pen

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What did Annie the Orphan get for Christmas? News that her parents are dead.

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Q-- Why did the boy stop playing football? A -- He had to go for his tea

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pickle sniffer

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Why couldn't the convicted felonist come back to America? He lost his passport.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Max

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops