Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you call a black man? By his first name.

thumb_up thumb_down -124

a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

ROB SNIEDER ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS A CAARRRRROT! rated pg-13

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Chuck Norris is so strong, he can lift really heavy things without hardly even trying.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why I the kid still at school? His mom was brutally run over by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? Pretty much anything is funnier than that. What's wrong with you?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -139

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops