What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

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Why did child's mom cry when he was born? The child had no head.

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Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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What the black guy say to the Jew during the blizzard? I think it's snowing.

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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What is the difference between a joke, and an antijoke? A joke is actually funny.

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What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

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A black man walked into a bar. Had a drink, and left.

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What's worse than repeating holocaust jokes? Repeating the holocaust.

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The chicken hesitated to cross the road. It pondered endlessly on the ramifications of not crossing the road, the future jokes that would never have been made. So it crossed the road with no real purpose for others to come up with unique ideas. Just kidding there is no proof that chickens have ever existed. There is proof that Barack Obama is a woman, however.

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Q: What do you call a guy that likes men? A: Gay.

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How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

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Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops