What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

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"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

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Q) You know how I know your gay A) Cuz your gay

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What's worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke? Your family being massacred in front of your eyes.

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Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

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What did the nurse say to the man who got an erection while being given a sponge bath? She assured him it was a normal reaction and moved on to clean his arms.

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

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There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

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why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was a Women

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whats red and can fall on you blood from a hunted duck.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? If you eat a Jew, you're deemed a cannibal and are frowned upon by the majority of society.

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What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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What's black and hangs from trees? tires ...and black people

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

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Q: What do you call a black pilot? A: A pilot, you racist

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What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

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How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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