How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

whats red and can fall on you blood from a hunted duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's black and hangs from trees? tires ...and black people

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops