A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

Men's Rights

Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

I'm hungry.

why dont black people like cruise ships? they already fell for that trick 400 years ago

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...