What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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Society.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

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tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,co8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cg8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,cgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,chjhgffghjhgfcjd rhtkf ucitcdu5bdv587vd975df975fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c5fefnierlrnv[rieubvuebn[ue'wbnv'[uebn[eu'abnubongtv[uteu[lreg[ouh tuvh[udhumsr[8chv[o5g8h[o8g[hshgcuiehrng[h r[oih]5prjgh,p9u,q3,rgc83qugj],gjpcjr,c3qugj],gjpcjr,c

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Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

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What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

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You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

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What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

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What did the poor sickly orphan get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Justin Bieber

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whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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Apple.

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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