A blind man walks into a bar... And a table. And a chair.

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Why did little Timmy start crying? Because he was shot.

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Why did the Jew run across the road? To get to the other side.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I threatened to throw a fridge at it

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Yo mama's so poor, she can no longer handle the down payments on her home and is in great need of financial aid

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A man walks through a doorway but there was a door there so he got injured

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What did the blonde say to the chicken? mmm, delicious

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how do you decrease the unemployment figures? abolish lidle, aldi, and netto

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a chicken walks into terry's house he penetrates himn

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What did the farmer say to the woodchucks chucking his wood? Excuse me, not to be rude but i worked very hard splitting and stacking that wood and would appreciate it if you would stop throwing it in the water.

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a terrible and painful death on impact.

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Somewhere over the rainbow.... Is land.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

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CORRECTION TO THE COMMENT BELOW! Its a WIN/WIN/WIN/WINWINWINWINWINWIN (WIN For at least 30 more minutes)/CUUUUM!/"SORE ASS WHINING CHILD Gonna grow into a slut SITUATION!" friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man The Anti-Christ: Do not thumb me down unless you want to feel the big burning hot spear of darkness, and you do not... You better don`t be or become a sore ass kid you allshole if you know what I am saying... Yeah! Thats right! You better fear me! Because the angrier you look... The more offended you become... The better you are starting to look...

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I swear to drunk officer I'm not god.

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Whats funnier then a dead baby? A lot of things.

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Why was Sally crying because a flock Of seagulls just took a shit in her head

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First joke of the most-disliked area; 9/11 joke. First joke of the most popular area; Holocaust joke. "You shouldn't joke about 9/11 you sick bastard people died" -Said all Americans ever.

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Moral below, I understand you are one of us, but you are not supposed to act when I, your leader is spreading the message, if you want to risk harming the fundation behind your status as a shadow and its benefits, I suggest you cease signing your comments with moral. Moral the friendly neighbourhood r*pist: "Ruining the fundation behind the life of your choosing, will always end up ruining your chance to live and act freely, if you are a true shadow, then you will follow and obey"

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Knock Knock Go Away

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-Wanna hear a joke? -Not really -Oh

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Why do you always loose your keys at monster truck rally's? Most likely because they fell out during all the excitement of jumping up and down, but the real reason is because they are afraid of monster cars.

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Paddy and mick were walking down the street when they saw some traffic lights. They proceeded to cross the road and continue on their journey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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