Why did the man fall from the sky? Because he was dead.

A white man walking dpwn the street finds a brief-case with a timer on it. A young muslim man says he dropped it. The white man then asked "What's the timer for"? The young man said, "Nothing really, just helps keep the time." They both went their separate ways.

What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

Two cowboys are in a kitchen. The first one says, "I feel at Home on the range!" To which the second replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he has never pursued his real dream.

how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his whole family

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because a tree fell on her. Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally...

Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

Okay, one second.

A midget walks under a bar

What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

An Iraqi, an American and an Irishman get on a plane. They all enjoy the in-flight amenities, agree that the food was sub-standard and arrive at their destinations safely.

Justin's humor

Why did Alex die? He choked on a semi truck

How do you save a black man from drowning? You throw him a flotation device.

What happened the the blonde that went swimming? She cooled off and enjoyed a hot summer day.

how do you stop a speeding vehicle? throw a refrigerator at it.

I was (really) asked one day by a guy if I wanted to star in a porn movie... Before I could even think about it he asked my 14 year old sister "Do you want to join in too?" And that kids, is why I am stuck in jail for pushing up a boot up a guys ass... Well replace boot with dick, and guys ass with my 14 year old sister and yeah... Naw... seriously she has hueg boobs though... at the age of 14, damn those melons have not even gone a bit greenish yellow and they are still growing... ...Hey Cassandra, its NeroMetal, good thing I am not your brother and that you are 19 right? NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THAT NEROISM DUDE THAT CHATS HERE, I play videogames, and write books, and sign books... ...Then some guy sees my real name is Nero and goes that guy on horsehead network? Who? HE SUCKS! SUCKS ASS!

A plane full of atheists, with one Christian, crashes into a field over Ohio. Everybody but the Christian dies upon impact. Amazed, a news reporter on the scene of the crash, asks the man, "How did you suvive this tragic event?" "I had a parachute." Responds the man.

What do you call a black person riding a bicycle? A black person riding a bicycle.

What do you call a dead baby lying in the road? A Tragedy

Have you heard the joke about the Swedish surgeon who found a frog in his patient's stomach? Yes, you've told me it before.

Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

Q: what did the nazi say to the other nazi A: hallo

Why did the chicken cross the road? To find some grain.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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