What's worse than getting Ebola? Nothing

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Two weeks ago, my brother walked into a flea market and asked if they sold fleas. He's so silly.

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What's black, white, and red all over? The flag of the Arapaho Nation.

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber's talent.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Whatever his parents named him

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i drive all the time its no big deal open the door and get behind the wheel

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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So there are two skunks in a bath tub. One of the skunks says to the other, "Would you please pass the soap?", and the other skunk says, "What do you think I am, a talking radio?!"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because Osama Bin Laden is dead.

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Why did the Asian eat rice? Because its food

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Five Mexicans were driving down the motorway in a Ford. Must've been a Fiesta.

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Once you buy it, you will get a 365 day warranty or a 1 year warranty, whichever comes first

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I want to tie a baby to the back of a truck then reverse into a wall.

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What did the black man say to the young white woman during sex? you are a wonderful woman

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why do people play xbox 360's? because there poor people who cant afford a ps3

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your mum. Your mum who? Dinner is ready, come down stairs.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Tell her to inform the police that her significant other is assaulting them and that she should file a restraining order.

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Did you know there is a whole country occupied with twins? It's called China

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What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Assosiation.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobel Nobel who? There was no bell, that's why I'm knocking you idiot

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? - Getting killed in the Holocaust. Whats worse than that? - Nothing.

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What is the difference between a black guy and a bucket of shit? The black guy is a sentient human being, and the bucket of shit is just a metal container filled with feces

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Why would you call a child douche bag? Cause they're sterile

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Roses are red Violets are twisted bend over now your about to get fisted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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