What is a chair?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

♪ It's raining. It's pouring. ♪ The old man caught pneumonia and died....

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than finding a holocost in your apple. A truck full of dead babies then what's worse than finding a truck full of dead babies in your apple. Braving to pich fork them out

thumb_up thumb_down +2

NO! Nero created the MULTIVERSE During the sixth day... And on the seventh... He did not get any sleep or rest either...¨ SO THE GREAT EXPLOSION OF ENDORPHIN'S WAS CREATED AND IT WAS GOOD! Moral:"Seriously, get lost, only the trio of the Gods Me,Myself, and I, are worthy of this tribulation!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than a bee sting? Getting shot in the head

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why didn't God show up to Jesus' bar mitzvah? Because he doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

10 people walk into a bar. 6 hours later, 3 more people walk into the bar. There are now 12 people in the bar, and one corpse in the dumpster out back.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a man who eats a swordfish at 11 o'clock? Dead by midnight.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Can you say the word "toy boat" 10 times fast? No

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a dragon with no wings? A komodo dragon

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do u say when u see your tv floating in the middle of the night? drop it n*****

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why are rich guys gay? They can afford to be

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

;aosughdfo

thumb_up thumb_down +2

- I'm in my mum's car, broom broom. - Get out me car. - Aw.

thumb_up thumb_down

Wanna hear a joke? Twilight

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted a car to kill him so he can get to the other side with his wife and son. In other news,I had a very nice chicken cutlet and scrambled egg dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is funny about 9/11. Nothing you sicko, it was a tragic day for the world.

thumb_up thumb_down

Who has big eyes, big ears, and a big mouth? The witness I'm about to murder so he cannot testify against me. Wish me luck.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats Black White and Red all over? oh, wait. what time were we supposed to meet that landlord?

thumb_up thumb_down

You cant like my stuff ive known you for like 1 day. just kidding you can like whatever you want, actually ive know you for 5 years

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock Who's there? Doorbell repairman

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops