Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

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What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

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Q: What is your name? A: I don't know.

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

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What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can lift really heavy things without hardly even trying.

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Why did the moron jump through the window?

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Why did the black man shoot the white man? The white man was a prison escapee attempting to perform hate crimes toward African Americans by reforming the KKK. The black man was also schizophrenic.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

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Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

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A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

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Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops