In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can lift really heavy things without hardly even trying.

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How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

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69

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Fags are gay.

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why didn't the drug addict take steroids? he was going to but died due to years of substance abuse

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Yo mama is so stupid, she has a sub-par intelligence quota.

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Rosa Parks is going to be here if she gets to the bus on time!

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A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. There's a massive earthquake and the bar collapses to the ground, killing everyone inside.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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knock knock who's there? bell bell who? bellend

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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Why didn't Joe have any friends? Because according to Thomas Hobbes man is anti-social by nature and therefore the only friends that he has are purely to reach his own ends and thus Joe cannot truly have friends in the sense that many use the word.

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You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

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Justin Littleton's mom accidentally texting him about buying weed, and then offering to buy him ice cream to make up for it.

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Why did the black man get the grape soda? It was the only soda left.

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Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

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How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

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69

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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