I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

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385

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?"what's up" "A preposition"

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knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

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In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

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You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

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Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

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What's worse than being a Packer Fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... oh, wait....

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being disabled.

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whats red and can fall on you blood from a hunted duck.

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How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

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What happened when the asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? George. George Who? George Smith.

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Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

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why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

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1,984

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

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Yo mama is so stupid, she has a sub-par intelligence quota.

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Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

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What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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