What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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(read this aloud): A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. Him and the giraffe order multiple shots and get hammered. The giraffe on the other hand can't hold his liquor so well, and ends up passing out on the floor of the bar. The man decides to leave him there and take off. On his way out, the bartender yells, "Hey, you can't just leave that lyin' there!" and the man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"

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What do you get when you add a cucumber some vinegar some salt and you get..... Macaroni and cheese

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You wanna hear something dirty? A pile of garbage. That's dirty.

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Why couldn't Paul see. He got stabbed in the eye by two mexicans

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A worm slowly crawled through the ground, only to be eaten by an incoming bird.

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A dyslexic pervert asks to see a woman's bar. Then he is chased to the bra next door.

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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Why are there cookie's in the jar? 'Cause I put cookies in the jar

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What's the difference between slavery and the Holocaust? Slavery happened.

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Knock knock Who's there? Illiteracy.

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What has wings and windows? A bluebird, I was nodding about the windows!

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Why did the man fall from the sky? Because he was dead.

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why was Timmy dirty? Because he was buried

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No I do not think that, that would be a wasted thought.

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I was at the ocean, and I saw a screaming fish. Then it died.

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Knock knock, Who's there The delivery man The delivery man who Just take this package

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Why did the old man fall off his bicycle? Because somebody threw a fridge at him.

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Why does an actor enjoy his work so much? Because it’s all play.

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The dyslexic man called the black man a ginger.

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Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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