whats worse than having your sextape leaked to the media? not being a kardashian when it happens.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

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Nohypocondrism: When you feel fine and everyone keeps telling you you are a sick bastard. Charisma: Hey, that guy that changed my life killed the neighbor, cool rite? I mean that damn neighbor did say nothing to me when I said hi. Solitude: When the room is so overcrowded that you feel small and alone. I think that people that are jack of all trades and master of none are stupid... I AM JACK OF NO TRADES AND MASTER OF ALL! I am nothing, because nothing lives on forever, nothing is unbreakable, nothing is really awesome on a terrible day... I am also Nobody, because Nobody has more money than me.. FUUUUUUUU..

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind, deaf, and dead.

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there was a blonde and abrunette and they both jumped off a bridge . who hit the bottom first? the brunette beacuase when the blonde was halfway down she had to walk back up and ask for directions

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what did the little boy say to little girl? I shit bricks.

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Q: What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? A: Popcorn Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? A: F'uck you -Ap

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Your mama is so fat she suffered from diabetes and died of heart failure .

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What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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How many Asians did it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1 Asians are just like every one else

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What do you call 55,000 clowns exiting a small car? Fiction.

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Why are they called waiters? Because you got to wait for them for a fucking long time. Why do they call you a patient. Just so you wont get impatient, if you do you are no longer a patient and they will ignore you.

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Why did the koahla fall out of the tree? It died.

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what did the bee do when bill tried to slap it it stung bill and died.

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what did the man say to his boss? Hello boss

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Why doesn't Micheal Jackson do a music video with Usher? Because he is dead.

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Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake. One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?" "You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back.

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Why did little Jonny drop his ice cream? He was his by a bus? Why did the Kuala fall out the tree? Because it died.

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I walked in ony my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

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Why did the meme cross the road? MEME XD

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What happened to the boy who spilled his fruit punch on the president? He was offered a new one compliments of Obama himself.

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Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 had a gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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