How many Aumish farmhands does it take to operate a state of the art commercial laser-cutter? One,provided he has the relevant training and experience.

thumb_up thumb_down

How does a pirate get to work? His CAAAARRRR! Where does the pirate go after work? The BAAAARRRR! How does the pirate get home from the bar? A taxi. A pirate doesn't drive after consuming alcohol.

thumb_up thumb_down

HI MY NAME IS DOUG

thumb_up thumb_down

What did one dog say to the other dog? Woof woof

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the black man say "I been done did that?" He was speaking ebonics.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried to to commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple whilst you're in a bar after finding out you have cancer when you visited your families grave? Having a refrigerator thrown at you by an aids infected monkey with no arms or legs.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Jimmy cross the road? Because a chicken was about to cross the road, and he wanted to be kind and help the old 72-aged chicken get across the road. Because Jimmy had a grandfather that passed away because he was too old and nobody helped him cross the road. Jimmy is haunted by that memory and doesn't want that to happen to anyone else. Especially a chicken.... Also there were no cars and his best friend chicken was on the other side waiting for him.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Dolley Madison take the painting of George Washington out of the White House in 1814. It was on fire. By, Luke Atkins

thumb_up thumb_down

Two tomatoes walk across the street and manage to get over safely. COME ON MUSTARD!

thumb_up thumb_down

How much cocaine has Charlie Sheen done? enough to put your health at risk

thumb_up thumb_down

What's red and screams? A peeled baby in a bag of salt.

thumb_up thumb_down

please dis this joke, I want to get to the bottom of the leaderboard!

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than a kid being bullied at school? A kid being bullied at school, to go home and be raped by his stepdad.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is green, slimy and has 8 legs? Uncle Martin

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you call a joke that is not a joke? not a joke

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did you not just "put a spell" on her instead? And you are totally mean, ever actually killed someone?

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What's worse than the holocaust? A: 2 Holocausts

thumb_up thumb_down

say cheese

thumb_up thumb_down

redtube

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Five Mexicans were driving down the motorway in a Ford. Must've been a Fiesta.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A: Hey ask me if Im a fire truck? B: Are you a Fire Truck? A: No why would you ask that?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the woman get for Christmas? Cooking oil and a black eye.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops