What did the woman get for Christmas? Cooking oil and a black eye.

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Donald Trump

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Why was the human stronger than the dog? Because the dog had four legs and a mouth and a human has 2 legs, 2 arms, and is taller. Therefore, the human has more capabilites than the dog.

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Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and suffered from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his head, he is being treated by medical professionals

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JUSTIN BIEBER PERFUME!

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What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves.

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My mom always said it was fun to jump into a pile of leaves... That was before she was devoured by a 10 ft. scorpion.

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can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

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Greg told a joke. It wasnt funny...

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why did the chicken cross the road? dunno. i wasnt there.

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How do you hold someone in suspense?

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one day i went to bed

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What did the statue say to the other statue? Nothing, statues cant speak.

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What's worse, a dog dying or cancer? The Holocaust.

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A blind man walks into the girls bathroom.

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Why did the black men chase the chicken ? Because it wondered out of a barn.

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What's worse than finding a worm in you apple? The holocaust.

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An early jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody.

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Why does Mario wear coveralls? Because it makes practical sense for his full time job as a plumber.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because while he was swinging, his friends dared him to jump off and called him a chicken when he didn't. Still hesitant, he tried to jump off, but his arm caught on the swing chain and he fell face first into the tanbark. He needs reconstructive surgery to repair his face.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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whats brown and sticky? shit

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What did Steve jobs tell bill gates? Please pass the salt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops