What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts What's worse than two holocausts? Twilight

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was Jessica sad? She had just recently run over a few newborn puppies with her car.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why can't Demetrius swim? Because he has a genetic disorder where he is paralyzed from the waste down, so he is therefore incapable of propelling himself through the water

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldn't the mexican feed his family? Because a large percent of mexican immigrants in the United States do not have jobs due to dicrimination against illegal immigrants crossing the soutern border, thus rendering them more vunerable to unemployment is that is vastly present in the United States.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blind Man walks into a Bar. A young man quickly runs over to him and helps him up.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two men go hunting and one has a sudden heart attack. The other man calls 911 and immediately tells the operator his location and the nature of the emergency. Rescue workers arrive on the scene in a timely manner and the man makes a full recovery.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What sound does a childs head make in a vice? I don't know, I was too busy wanking.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

thumb_up thumb_down +11

[Insert dumb, last minute anti-joke here]

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your Mom is so fat... I'm sorry I didn't mean that.. I have abandonment issues.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the different between a trampoline and a baby? You take off your shoes before jumping on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

row row row your boat gently down the stream rape

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did Jesus REAREAREAREVENAGNCEREALLY SAY when he was walkin on da waterz? And I bless this object which shalth now be known as the surfboard, Amen. Seriously, im a Christian, that sounds kinda cute in a weird way... Like aww, thats why he walked on water, not because of terrifying super powers.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the black man tangled in chains at the bottom of the ocean? Because he was a highly skilled diver and environmentalist who tragically entangled himself and consequently died slowly and painfully of suffocation while trying to save a whale from eating waste metal.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yo momma's so fat, she had a heart attack and is currently hospitalized.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than people reposting the same joke all the time? The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the kid fall off his swing? Because his mum threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If you rape a prostitute is it shop lifting?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Jimmy Saville

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Orange Orange who? Banana Banana who? I have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +11

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did OJ Simpson say to the blonde? "Don't worry, I'm not going to murder you"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops