Roses are red, violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't you worry I'll be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you.

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks. Thumbs up if you get it.

Q: What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A: An horse

My girlfriend once told me " Life is like a penis, it's hard."

Why did the man feel so guilty after having sex...... He found out He was a tranny

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

Knock Knock… Who is there? Orange. Orange Who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Actually I really wish you did, because I am Hypokalemic and am about to die you asshole.

When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

Why did Jimmy through a glass at spouse? Jimmy was an abusive husband who had a tendancy to drink too much.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm dyslexic couldn't tell, could you?

What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

A Elephant was going to fight against the biggest and toughest and meanest giant African desert mouse! The battle the animal kingdom had waited for centuries! *DING!* Elephant: Get up Mickey! Mouse: Squish! Disney: How big do you really think a African "giant" desert mouse is?

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pilot.

Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

How do u get a clown off of a swing? You hit him with an axe.

I walked up to my friend who's a drug addict holding a can of coke. I then told said friend that I liked the smell of coke. My friend then went on to snort 27 Kilos of cocaine.

Have you heard about the Polish hockey team? They're not very good, but what they lack in skills they make up for in enthusiasm and good team spirit.

How do you give Salley enough energy swim against the river current? Add your own electric current.

Q: What's white, black, and red all over? A: The yellow brick road

An airplane crashes into a state park. There are no survivors. Susan continues her stroll in the park, considering she is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair, she isn't aware of the nearby disturbance

What is orange and smells like a jewish cat. Nothing

TWIX PAUSE!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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