This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know where I am, I'm blind.

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Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

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Why did Johnny fall down? Because I threw tropical fruit at him.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Well...not really no. It's not.

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What's worse than going in the wrong direkshun? ...My spelling

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Why did the virgin jerk until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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Why was Steve hungry? Because the last time he ate was yesterday.

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A horse walks into a barn.

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general tso's broccoli

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Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

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The BCS

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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Q: What do you call a black person with one leg? A: In modern American society, it is proper etiquette to adress somebody by their first name.

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a blond was walking across a river thinking how do I get across. when she saw another blond. and asked how do I get to the other side and the other said your already on the other side.

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Shoulda had a V8 ...or not because I am severely allergic to tomato's.

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if you give somebody a dollar and they give you a different dollar you both have a dollar

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Why did the boy give the girl flowers? Because her parents died in a car crash and he felt bad.

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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What's the difference between your cat and mine? Yours has legs.

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Wanna know something funny? Your face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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